Tuesday, January 16, 2007

8.15pm, Tuesday night

Channel surfing. A snapshot:

BBC 1: A televised remedial class for third rate actors. Dreadful script, dreadful direction, dreadful acting, dreadful production values (Holby City).

BBC 2: A woman teaching you how to drink water, inspecting measuring jugs of urine. Surely mankind cannot now be so stupid as to need lessons on how to drink and piss. This programme also appears to feature a punter named 'Gronya' (Dr Alice Roberts: Don't Die Young).

ITV1: Random idiotic members of the public begging on national television for cash handed out by five 'millionaires' who dole out perfunctory insults. It's the televisual equivalent of swearing at beggars on the street (Fortune: Million Pound Giveaway).

Channel 4: A sour faced old bitch inspecting human shit to detect what is wrong with the diet of the 18 stone fat bastards who produced it. And they have to stay in her (show)house. Surely mankind cannot now be so stupid as to need lessons on how to eat and shit (You Are What You Eat: Gillian Moves In).

five: Something about the Titanic. Yawn. This is a documentary which actually just introduced it's thesis with the words "they may not have found any evidence, but..." (Titanic's Final Moments: The True Story).

No comments: